I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
