nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
