hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
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