i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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