Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Randomize
