so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
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