you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
