that's an acceptable place to lick
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Your shirt... Was in my pants
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
