Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
