I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
