i always forget guys have bellybuttons
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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