Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
