No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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