she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize