Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Randomize
