hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
being pregnant is like rehab
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
