At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
