just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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