garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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