I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
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