Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
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