belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
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