i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
