Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
