I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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