are you so shy because you have an std?
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
