We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
