she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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