its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
