Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
