Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize
