Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
