i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize