So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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