Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
