You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
