Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
