Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
