Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
