WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Randomize