And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Randomize
