didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize