How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
