he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
