i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
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