We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
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