I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Randomize
