If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Randomize
