My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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