At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
