I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
where are my eyebrows?
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
