i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
