They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize