even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
