Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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