She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I think I just sharted jello shots
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
