Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
