grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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